The Peace Corps: A journey into the wilderness
by Sam Brooks
Delivered at the Unitarian Universalists of Quezon City, May 31, 2009
In May of 2007 I set out on my journey. Actually some of my brain had moved on weeks earlier what with all the paperwork, packing, and going away parties. A good part of me felt suspended somewhere between the east coast of the U.S. and one of the, as yet to be identified, 7107 islands of the Philippines.
I was moving away from my flock (the Community Church of Chapel Hill: Unitarian Universalist) where I was just another sheep not the shepherd. I was leaving the security of my home, just as Buddha, Jesus, Mohammad and other great prophets and teachers left their communities and found themselves in the wilderness. I am only loosely comparing my junket with theirs. But for them, as well as, for me it was a searching time, maybe even a soul-searching time. Moses led his people during a time of upheaval and rebellion. His mission was to hold the Jews together at a time when they were wondering what god to pray to and where were they headed anyway. I wonder if he didn’t occasionally walk away from the caravan and wonder what in the world he was doing, and should he have turned left at the last oasis.
So I set out on this journey from North Carolina naive in my belief that there was one road for me to travel upon. And for me, that road’s name was adventure. But as I moved through Bataan and Tarlac and finally to Ifugao, I discovered that sometimes the road was named frustration or disappointment, hope or surprise. I was here; I was eager, trained and ready. Why wasn’t everything moving along at the speed of …well, a dim light anyway? It took awhile to realize that I had been mugged by reality. I was not a prophet; this was a far cry from the Promised Land. I was a 60-something woman on a Victory Bus hoping to make it to the Bagabag Junction before dark otherwise I was going to be stranded for the night among the vendors hopping on and off buses hawking buko pies and peanuts..
Sara Moore Campbell in her meditation manual, Into the Wilderness, talks about this. She says, “We are neither where we have been nor where we are going. There in danger and possibility, risks and promise.” I shall return to my community a changed person. But while I was absent, my friends and family were changing as well. They may have been on journeys of their own. So my return will be a time of re-acquaintance with both the familiar and the new. I can look forward to kissing a new grandson, hearing the words of a newly settled minister. At one time I thought of returning as a time of “catching up” but upon reflection I realize that there can be no catching up, no integrating, because what has passed in the last twenty-seven months on both sides of the world has been a personal journey. We simply have to accept each other where we are now.
In the Philippines every milestone event is accompanied by the slaughter of a pig and perhaps a goat or two. I always know if somebody in my Poblacion West has passed on, gotten married or had a birthday by the squeals of an unhappy pig wafting through the neighborhood. However, I’m not expecting the fattened calf to be sacrificed as a part of my homecoming. Being UU’s does mean coffee and maybe a potluck lunch. 724
But this journey is not over; it is continuing in a different wilderness. The word wilderness comes from ‘wild beast’. In one sense, I have discovered the best way to tame the beast is to meet it head on. So for now, I am here. I have projects to complete, papers to write, a dispedida to host, grant money to spend and account for.
And just like 2007, part of me has already begun the trip home. I am cleaning out closets, deciding what clothes will cross the Pacific Ocean and what ones will remain here. I find myself thinking about what may be waiting for me in Chapel Hill. I have a growing to-do list: buy an iphone, return to work, renew my driver’s license, and take hot showers.